It’s funny how some days, life is just hard. There’s just so much to think about on a daily basis – I need to get my car fixed, I should call the garage, will Little man’s hemangioma need to be removed, will kids make fun of him later in life because of it, am I going to have to replace my whole front porch, I hope not, who’s going to be able to watch Hunter this afternoon, I need to give two assessments to about fifteen different kids this week, I better figure out when I can do that, I need to call that parent, actually two of them, I forgot to pull something out for dinner tonight – That’s just a few of them and it’s not even 9:00 AM yet!
My brain goes into this overload & shutdown function. Does anyone else have one of those? I have so many things running through my brain that I actually can’t focus and complete any one of them. Journaling and to-do lists have always helped me work through that syndrome though. Writing things down helps my brain to slow down and process one thing at a time. Which is hard with this crazy spaghetti brain of mine!
Once I start writing all of my thoughts and worries out, so many of them seem trivial and it actually makes me want to stop, and write a list of all of the things I am grateful for instead. Life is life. There are always going to be things that we need to get done, but my son will not always be 1, my husband and I won’t always share good health, I won’t always get the opportunity to pour into kids’ lives like I do right now. Lately I have been learning so much about thriving rather than surviving. I am realizing more and more how much of a choice that is. I need to choose to not get into survival mode, which can be really easy to do this time of year when winter is still hanging on by a thread even though we’ve had glimpses of spring already. If I am choosing to thrive, I will naturally bring the people around me with me on that journey and that is certainly the kind of wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, teacher, and colleague that I want to be.
There is this careful balance between processing through something the best that we humanly can and actually turning that processing into worry. God doesn’t want us to worry though because worry kills our joy and robs us of our motivation. Trust me, I am constantly practically jumping off of that balance beam into the worry, but each time God reminds me why I don’t need to. It’s like He whispers, “I’ve got you” over and over again.